I’m still searching for me

Let me dwell in my solitude
Let lonesomeness run its reign
Your sanity drives me crazy
Let me just stay insane


There’s a reason I stay aloof
There’s a reason I walk away
All that you wanna become
I have long shunned away


Deem me, a loser, I care less
I just wanna quit the chase
I ain’t fighting for the crown
I ain’t getting back in the race


You chase the joys of life
Let them lead you to ecstasy
I ain’t interested in anything
I’m still searching for me


~Shunyatha

Free Will

It’s happened before
It’ will happen again
Why then your heart fears
Why shed tears of pain


Ages lost in misery
Denying the truth
Why bother to rebel?
Waste your blest youth?


Why build the castle in air,
Dream of a distant shore
When descend is in order
Why even aspire to soar


Life shall not heed, no man
Nor be taken, or shun’d away
Fight all you want, as much can
It’s bound to end anyway


It follows its own course
The path you call Destiny
Why yearn to resist it
Why deny the eventuality


You may choose to believe
Live in the web of lies
Free will, but, is an illusion
Mere a cloak around your eyes



- Shunyatha

The Snake & The Charmer

He lived with a snake
Knew his life was at stake
So he licked venom each day
Till he was immune one day


He fed it half of his earning
Yet it stayed bitter and burning
He made it dance to his tune
That made it weak and swoon


It yearned for revenge
And chose to avenge
So deliberately it bit
Till he would catch a fit


He let it play the game
Hoping he can tame
But venom in blood rose
He bled from his nose


A drop more would kill
Knowing he made a will
No mercy for the rival
It’s a battle of survival


He caught it off guard
Crushed its head hard
Then strode along his way
To live for another day

- Shunyatha

Lets....

Let not your head sink in sorrows
For you won’t see what lies ahead
Let not your spirit crumble ever
For then you are as good as dead

Let not your feet give in to darkness
Only then will you find your way
Let not your eyes succumb to the night
And you will see the light of the day

Let not your mind worry over fate
For that keeps changing all the while
Let not your face get used to frown
For soon, it’ll have a reason to smile

Let not your heart lose its faith
For I’ll shadow wherever it goes
Let not your soul doubt me ever
For I am the one who knows

Let me take you to another world
Cross this bridge that’s in between
Walk with me for I know the way
For where you are today, I’ve once been

Ramblings: Love Vibe

Love isn’t the poetry you recite
Love isn’t the prose you narrate
For words may move the heart
But the soul, it cannot sedate


Love isn’t the idea you believe
Love isn’t the dream you share
For thoughts may reveal your mind
But it doesn’t tell, you care


Love isn’t the gifts you buy
Love isn’t the flowers you offer
Things may fade with time
Love is what shines forever


Love isn’t in your touch
Love surely isn’t in the kiss
For these may allure a while
But they lack the love’s bliss


Love isn’t what you think is
Love isn’t what you can control
For it's not a work of the mind
But an affair of the soul


Love isn’t for the heart to understand
Love isn’t for the mind to imbibe
Love is for one soul to experience
And another to catch the vibe

A day in John's life

Another routine Sunday, it was
John woke up, almost unwilling
dragging himself out of the bed
he made another new beginning

First was his wife to meet
Dearly, her love she showed
John didn't notice the smile
nor the tears that followed

Then it was the kid's turn
Who dropped his cup of tea
Twice, the kid was slapped
and made to bend on knee

Off to work, John left
His heart sick with loath
Damned duty needed him
He had taken the oath

A cat crossed his path
and thus earned its curse
Anguished John moved on
expecting day to be worse

Little further, he stopped again
A trunk blocked his way
It got kicked at first
Then was thrown away

Reaching office, he hurried
Quickly wore his gown
Many clients were waiting
Almost half the town

He entered his wooden cabin
Sat behind the grilled pane
Then dawned a peaceful smile
One that looked mundane

The first one to approach
Sought peace as his goal
He knelt before John
And prayed for his soul

Father John..., he cried
Show me the way.
In tears, passes my night
In pain, I spend my day


My mind is suffering
My heart is lonely
Is there anyway
You can help me

From god's book, John cited -
Child, pain is what you endure
Hatred is your illness
And love the only cure

Prayer

When you’ve revealed your Self
Why conceal your intentions
Why keep the mortals in dark
And add to their tensions

What tempts your mind?
Why indulge in this play?
What purpose this game has,
Endless cycles of night and day?

Your seekers lay buried
Beneath the holy pile of stories
Generations passed in vain
Ages spent in miseries

Let them know the truth
Tell them there’s no paradise
Save them from themselves
From their own straying lies

Wake them from their sleep
Stop them from dreaming
Tell them so they shall know
This life has no meaning

Fear

My fears
are different than yours

You fear Love
that can't be controlled any how

You fear each other
be it your own brother

You fear time
that never committed a crime

You fear nature
that wouldn't harm ever

You fear destiny
that's unknown to you and me

You fear the almighty
whom you'll never see

My fears
are different than yours

You fear all of these
I fear the day, these fears will cease

Freedom!

When a Bird escapes the Cage, it earns Freedom for itself and Hope for the others!

Quote: Eventuality

One can cherish or despise the eventuality, but can't escape it!

Facilitator

His words will heal you
If only you care to listen
He allows you to pray
But will never say amen
Some call him Saint, some a Sinner
He’s mere a soul facilitator
He helps you get through life!

Bare your soul to him
He will show you the way
But dare you doubt his path
And he’ll leave you astray
He’s a man without manner
He’s mere a soul facilitator
He helps you get through life!

He abandons faith and ruins hope
He shatters myth about Almighty
“Live and Let Live”, he says
Is what will bring in harmony
He doesn’t dwell on the Creator
He serves being a facilitator
He helps you get through life!

Grab your destiny when you can
Awaken, while he’s still with you
He’s the crutch nature has sent
He never returns once he bids adieu.
If you let, he can be your anchor
He’s Atman, the soul facilitator
He helps you get you through life!

Facilitator

His words will heal you
If only you care to listen
He allows you to pray
But will never say amen
Some call him Saint, some a Sinner
He’s mere a soul facilitator
He helps you get through life!

Bare your soul to him
He will show you the way
But dare you doubt his path
And he’ll leave you astray
He’s a man without manner
He’s mere a soul facilitator
He helps you get through life!

He abandons faith and ruins hope
He shatters myth about Almighty
“Live and Let Live”, he says
Is what will bring in harmony
He doesn’t dwell on the Creator
He serves being a facilitator
He helps you get through life!

Grab your destiny when you can
Awaken, while he’s still with you
He’s the crutch nature has sent
He never returns once he bids adieu.
If you let, he can be your anchor
He’s Atman, the soul facilitator
He helps you get you through life!

Feel like an Alien out here

I fail to fathom, why would Nature err
Why create human like a monster
A world as beautiful as this one
Why put it on the path of destruction

The pain a human has to suffer
Is caused by a human, none other
The knife that stabs a human heart
Is of human too, but one without a heart

How can a heart bear the courage
To give up humanity and become savage
How can a human be so numb
To the monster within, succumb

Yes! I was born human too
Wanted to do what humans do
Love and Live till Nature intends
And then sail to wherever it sends

This world was supposed to be heaven
Filled with love and compassion
There's only hatred in this atmosphere
I feel like an Alien out here

Thoughts after all

To fly, he craved

Though human, he was

A fool, wise called him

Taught him, the clause

A man, you are

Never, will you fly

Wings, you lack

Why even try

This earth, I rule

Supreme, am I

A bird can do

Why, can’t I

On hill, he stood

Beneath, valley steeped

Arms spread wide

In faith, he leaped

Soaked, in blood

He stayed dead

A bird came by

To him, it said

Like all, you too

With limits are bound

Some meant to fly

Some to stay in ground

A role, each is given

To each, as it fits

Like all, you see around

You too have limits

In pain, he spilled

His words like fire

If limits I have

They why the desire

Thoughts after all

Wander, they will

Some, to feed

Some, to kill

Emotionless

I don’t understand grief, nor sorrow or agony.

These feelings of mind seems absent in me

I don’t understand joy, nor pleasure or ecstasy

These experiences of life too are alien to me

I don’t have any emotion that’s supposed to be

Yet their absence don’t make my life empty

What You want to do v/s What needs to be done

It’s a situation that each one of us goes through. A crossroad we stand at, almost every day. It’s a choice, everyone has to make every so often.

It’s not hard to recollect incidents like these. It happens to everyone. What path do you choose when you stand at such a crossroad? Are you always inclined towards doing what you want to do or you are the person who always does what needs to be done.

The path you choose reveals who we are and determines the experience you’ll have.

If you chose to do what you want…

You will end up achieving almost everything you dreamed of. There won’t be any regret on that front. Life would be satisfying and you will get to say – “Been there, done that” a lot.

On the flip side, you will be pleasing none but yourself; and that would alienate many people. Though you will be happy, you won’t have any worthwhile friend to share that happiness with. People may accept your presence but they will always see you as a self-centered person.

If you choose to do what needs to be done…

You will end up being a problem solver for everyone. You will be respected for your selflessness and many will flock around as friends. For being with you would give them the assurance that there’s someone who’ll always do the right thing no matter what.

On the flip side though, you won’t feel content deep within. Your life will be full of compromises, leaving behind a feeling of emptiness that would remind you of the million opportunities you missed in your lifetime.

Either ways, you lose something that matters. Whether it’s the being loved or being content, you will always miss it, inspite of having the one you most wanted. It’s inevitable.

Is there a way that would give us best of both worlds? Probably!

Why take just one stand throughout your life. Life is not constant. Why should your decisions be? Why shouldn’t you choose the path based on the situation.

If it feels right to go for what we want, then so be it. But if we realize that we should be doing what needs to be done, than may as well do that. This way, every situation will be new and you will be a new person every time. And at all times, you will be content knowing that you’ve done the right thing. It doesn’t matter, if at sometimes you are just doing what is right for you as long as at other times you are doing what is right for others.

Life is a onetime experience. You have a limited time in which you have to meet the eternal purpose of your existence. It’s not wise to have a single pattern of behavior all throughout your life. Most importantly, it’s not expected of you. Life is infinitely variable. It changes every moment, and then why shouldn’t you?

So don’t bother about being content or being loved all the time. There’s nothing wrong in failing to meet other people’s expectation just as much as there’s nothing wrong in being dissatisfied at times. If it’s a moment of social acceptance, so be it. And if it’s a moment of self gratification, then so be it. Just do what you can and be ok with whatever life gives you.

Life of Change

All my life I changed a little
A little for mom, little for dad
Even a little for my bro and sis
For they too felt I was little bad

Thought that was it, but I was wrong
The change went on and on
A little for my teacher, little for my pals
I kept changing from dusk to dawn

A little for the girl of my dream
A little for the kids that she gave
A little for the people next door,
For the society that taught me to behave

I kept changing to please the “Others”
Lived for them like a slave
I would have been happy being “Me”
If only I had been a little brave

The Theory of “Feelings”

You know, every time we express our Feelings we are actually lying… at least theoretically!

Theoretically a Lie is defined as - “a statement that deviates from or perverts the truth.” This is the case every time words are used to express Feelings.

I am not saying we are all cheats because our intention is not to betray the other person. Rather we are mere victims of inability of the language to express Feelings.

Take for an example, a case when you have said to someone - “I like you!”

What exactly happens within you?
You meet someone and begin to interact with that person. Depending upon the outcome of the interaction you either feel comfortable or uncomfortable. Now the way the mind works, the Feeling of comfort or discomfort is associated with the other person and not the interaction. Mind has this tendency to think in terms of action. It doesn’t consider anything has a happening. For it there everything is an action and there is always a doer behind every action. So when you feel uncomfortable, the mind says - “This person is making me uncomfortable”. Similarly, when you feel comfortable, the mind says - “I feel comfortable with this person”. If the interaction provides pleasure in addition to comfort, you feel happy; and mind says - “This person makes me happy”.

That is what happens in Reality! It is just an incident where a particular interaction has lead to you Feeling happy! But while conveying it to the other person, you say - “I like you!” Theoretically this is an action that you claim to do, but in Reality it was an incident that happened to you!

See the difference?

This holds true for every Feeling that we try to express! What we feel, is an incident that happens to us. And what we express, is an action that we or someone else is doing!

The difference is not just that!

When you say - “I like you!” to someone, the statement doesn’t have an expiry period. An incident is relevant only for a moment, but an action can continue forever. So if suddenly some day you are acting unfriendly, it leaves the other person perplexed. This person then begins to wonder what went wrong between you two.

Also, the act of expressing your Feeling demands an infinite loop of Reaction. The person who expressed the Feeling believes in his action and is now expecting a similar action from the other person. And if the loop is broken at any point than the person who is responsible for the inaction becomes the cause of discomfort.

Eventually, the “I like you!” changes to “I hate you!”

If we run down the memory lane of the Human history, you will realize that no wise person has ever claimed to have known Love! What holds true for Love holds true for any other form of Feeling. Love is just a reference to the ultimate state of pleasure a Human can experience. When the pleasure of someone’s company crosses all boundaries, it transforms into Ecstasy and your mind tells you that you are in love with that person. But at the core, it’s just a Feeling.

Feeling in its truest form is incomprehensible by Humans! To understand a Feeling you need to conceptualize it first and that requires you to speak to yourself. Now, whether you are speaking to yourself or others, you are using language; a language that was devised by Humans to communicate with other beings. A language is a product of Human mind. It works fine when you use it to express Thought processes. Thoughts originate from the Mind. In fact it is a Thought that has led to the invention of a Language. So Language is well-equipped to convey Thoughts. But Feeling is a state of being. It doesn’t originate in the Mind. Rather your Mind tries to comprehend it logically. There’s nothing logical about a Feeling. It is a state of Being that you pass through every now and then. There’s no way a Thought, a product of Mind can help you decipher the complexity of a Feeling that resonates outside the Mind.

Conclusively, what you cannot understand, you cannot explain! The fact is there is no way to express Feelings. But if we were to stop expressing our Feelings than how can we convey it to the other person? Every attempt of yours to do so is just an error in interpretation of that which is absolutely inexpressible.

This is where I begin to wonder? Why in the first place do we want to convey our Feelings? Every Human action is influenced by a Desire to achieve a set Goal. If we are conveying our Feelings, what we hope in return is that the other person reciprocates in a similar way. It’s a part of our tendency to be social. We want to be closely connected with certain set of people, who make us feel comfortable. To keep them close to us, we try to express our Feelings. If they convey the same Feeling it is understood that the two are connected and will remain so till the situation changes between them, to be precise one of them breaks the loop of expression.

The Theory of “Concepts”

This article requires a sequel that will probably never be written. As it happens with most of my articles, the sequel too has been shelved before it could take off. Somehow, this one survived my scrutiny and resistance, and flowed out.

Let me begin with a question!

How do you authenticate a “fact”? How do you come to believe in something?

Is your belief based on your sensory perceptions? Perhaps, Yes!

Most people often say that they believe what they see with their own eyes. Now, this statement is arguable as it is. But even if we take it to be the case, then how can we justify things we see but doesn’t exist. The fact that you have seen it doesn’t confirm that it exists.

Why is it that in spite of being forewarned about mirages, your mind expects water when it sees one in a desert? What happens to you when a magician creates an illusion and you tend to believe in it for that moment at least? And how do you explain cases of hallucinations.

The Eye has a tendency to be deceived. Can it then be trusted? And Eye is supposed to be the most powerful of all our senses. If you are blindfolded than all your senses can betray you. A perfume can give out smell of a rose; a mimic artist can make you believe he is someone else; and you can touch a fish and feel it’s a jelly. None of our senses can guarantee authenticity of our belief, neither individually nor as a whole.

How then, do you come to believe in something?
In Reality, You don’t believe in the sensory perceptions, you believe in the stories that go around them. You believe in the Theories. These Theories form Concepts that you believe in.

Now, if you were to buy my concept about your belief being merely a Concept than you will definitely argue. ;)

There are lots of instances where things are as you see, or hear or smell or feel. But then these sensory elements only help to build perception; and perception is built around theories; and theories are what we get hooked to.

Whether you have seen it or not, you will believe in UFOs because as a Concept it is interesting. You will believe in Godmen and Reincarnations, in Past-Life and Karma, in Seeking and Enlightenment. All these are nothing but Concepts that has been bought and sold for ages.

Who amongst us can guarantee a reincarnation? Just because someone somewhere remembered some events that didn’t happen in the supposed current lifespan, it is assumed that the person has reincarnated. If at all that is true than how are we different than the recycled bottles. Our body primarily is constitutes of Energy and Energy by nature is Eternal. It never dies; just changes form. So it’s quite possible we are changing forms and not actually dying or being born again. But you want to believe in Reincarnation because it’s fascinating. It engages your mind that has a phobia of Inactivity.

You indulge in these fantasies because if not for these concepts your mind will be left with nothing but Emptiness and that is scary. You probably would prefer to believe in Astrology than to accept the fact that what we call “the future” is unpredictable. Your mind is paralyzed by the fear of Uncertainty. So in its bid to comfort self, it weaves a Concept. And just so that the Concept is believable you try to sell that concept to others. The more the others believe in it, the more your belief is strengthened. And your mind is relieved of the undeniable state of Existence. Since mind cannot deal with it, it chooses to escape it, and the only way mind can do this is by engaging in some or other thoughts. Concepts fuel thoughts and mind is kept busy.

But eventually, when the mind gets tired and settles down and your left in a state of thoughtlessness your begin to realize that all Concepts that you have believed since the beginning is meaningless and worthless.

That moment of thoughtlessness also rids your mind of thoughts associated with the fear of uncertainty. In the absence of fear, there is no need for the mind to escape and to indulge in fantasy. You are then left on your own to relax and enjoy your state of being as it is without any Concept attached to it!

If that ever happens to you, you will realize…
All that your mind has ever conceived is merely a Concept including the ones that you refer has God, Love and Life!

And that’s where the sequel begins. So I will stop here!