auto-bio-verse

Sit with me, read my verses
Let me cast my spell on you
Share with me your feelings
Let me a while dwell on you

I'll dice my words, cheat your senses
Take away your little life story
Then add my charm and churn it out
That will get me more days of glory

Call me names, curse if you want
That won't take me away from fame
Your emotions may mean lot to you
For me it's just another silly game

It's not my fault, let me tell you
To me, your god was not kind
All he gave me with this life -
A shallow heart, a gifted mind

Hold my hand...

Hold my hand
Close your eyes
Let me take you
to another place

Where eyes won't spy
Ears won't sneak
Where we can rest
In love's embrace

This isn't our world
People here are strange
They give up love
For things they chase

We belong elsewhere
Where love isn't sin
Lets vanish from here
Without a trace

Love will guide us
Why should we fear
Lets not struggle
This isn't our race

Blood from our veins
Will lead us away
From this world
Of pain and disgrace

Only a while more
We will be set free
Wipe those tears
From your face

Let the god's decide
Where to put us
Any place is better
Than this place

Soldier

As I lay awake in bed
My mind begins to wander
Is it the beginning of a new day
Or just the end of another

Time is lost on me
As my senses betray
My eyes hurt in the battle
My limbs taken away

With ears still by my side
I can hear the dripping reality
An hourglass beside the bed
Reveals the end of me

Outside the window
The busy world is passing by
Can't hear my groan
Can't wait till I die

I staked my life for them
but did they deserve
I fought the war for them
what purpose did it serve

These, my own people
Why I loved them so much
They got back to their lives
While I lay in death’s clutch

A butterfly and a flower bud

There's was a beautiful little world
A wandering butterfly and a grounded flower bud
She was rooted in reality
And he was afloat in fantasy

She had questions to ask
To answer was his only task
He had stories to narrate
To hear was her fate

They were together
Hoped it lasted forever
Yet they knew to dream was a crime
There was an enemy in time

They lived in the moment
Their worlds lost in the present
They thanked fate, cherished the gift
Knowing someday they'll go adrift

Though Fate was on their side
The evil time too was standing beside
One enjoyed watching the two play
The other waiting to call it a day

Finally, the time had come
For the two souls to succumb
Their joys swept by tears
Hearts filled with fears

Together they awaited the end
The curse that was about to descend
The elemental time swirled
Ending a beautiful little world

The clouds send down its wrath
The bud left with the aftermath
A life lost in a flash
A soul reduced to ash

Give me a reason to believe

You broke my heart twice before
Now, you are back knocking on my door
You say this time you've come to give
Just give me a reason to believe

I loved you till my heart ached
But your emotions were all faked
I loved you till it drove me crazy
Tell me how it felt to betray me
Sorry, I just can't forgive
I don’t have a reason to believe
You say this time you've come to give
Just give me a reason to believe

Love isn't for people like you
It's a gift meant for few
You need a clean heart for love to enter
In love you don't rule, you surrender
Love isn't what you perceive
I don’t have a reason to believe
You say this time you've come to give
Just give me a reason to believe

Now, your heart is filled with remorse
You ask me to change my heart's course
But your tears have lost the power
You are the pain I have gotten over
Now, it's your turn to grieve
I don’t have a reason to believe
You say this time you've come to give
Just give me a reason to believe

Tattooed love

I tattooed your name on my chest
And you stabbed my trust
Girl, I am gonna make you pay
Just wait another day

I am turning myself around
Treading on a deadly ground
Ill no longer be the lover I used to be
Revenge will be my new identity

Wait till I lay my hands on you again
Will drown you in tears of pain
You'll plead for mercy,
But you wont get it from me

I've nothing to loose anymore
I've swept below the worldly floor
But you girl, have a world of desire
All of which will be set on fire

Time has come to make you realize
What happens when love dies
It's time to return what you gave
To bring you down beside my grave

Salt of my life

I had everything life dished out for me
But life had never been so delicious before
A dash of you has added flavor to my life
Now, I can't live without you anymore
Baby, you are the salt of my life

I can't imagine how I survived so far
Life seemed ok,but something was missing
Then you came along with a smile
And your love added the zing
Baby, you are the salt of my life

I 've got so used to having you
Without you life won't suit me one bit
I don't wanna taste another moment
Unless it has your presence sprinkled on it
Baby, you are the salt of my life

Ironically Impressed!

Ever since I became aware of the nature's play, I was drawn by the sheer entertainment it provided. There seemed nothing more exciting that quietly watch the nature unfold itself moment by moment. Obviously, it turned me into a docile doer and vigilant observer. The sheer irony of events often left me spell-bound.

What happened today on 13th June 2009 was something could quietly easily be ignored as insignificant by any sane soul, however for me this was another interesting episode of nature that I didn't want to miss.

It was my birthday! My brother asked me to go with my cousin to get some chicken from market. It was our way of celebrating. Being a family of passionate non-vegetarians, thinking about chicken didn't seem odd. It was obvious. But something struck me the moment I heard the request.

Many years ago, I went through a similar incident. My family have always been a non-vegetarian. I was however, inclined towards being vegetarian. My father always used to joke about this saying I don't belong to the family - that I am the black sheep.

On my 10th birthday, my father took me to the slaughter house. It was the same thing. They wanted to celebrate and having "non-veg" meal seemed to be the unanimous choice. He was probably not aware of what was about to happen in the slaughter house, nor was I for that matter. So we went.

At the slaughter house, Dad ordered for a full piece of Goat! He bargained on the price and told how many pounds of weight the goat should weight, since the weight decided the price.

The slaughterer looked around for the right piece. Just that moment, lot of goats entered the house. There was new dispatch, a truck full of goats. They were being ushered in by the transporter. The slaughterer looked amongst them and grabbed hold of one by its neck. As soon as the goat was being pulled out, another goat followed. Instinctively, I felt the goat following was the mother. Then it dawned upon me that the slaughterer had picked up the youngest one amongst the lot because we had placed a small order.

I wondered, how fate decided that the young one should die that day. When others around him had already tasted life for a longer time, shouldn't the younger one too be allowed to experience the beauty of life for a little longer? Somehow I couldn't shake my thoughts off. I was stuck at the sheer brutality of the fate. But then a slam shook me and I was brought back from my thoughts to witness another act of brutality. The young goat was lying on the floor. It's body shuddering while the slaughterer still had its neck in his grip. He had simply slammed the goat on the floor and the impact was fatal. The goat breathed out a moan and then lay motionless.

I looked around. The slam of death had got everyone's attention - the fellow slaughterers, other buyers and the spared goats.

I excused myself and walked out. A while later, Dad came out carrying a black polythene bag with a chunk of meat. Black I thought was the right color that was used by the slaughterers to give away the meat. It was dark dead. Black justifies it.
That day, I announced to my family that I am becoming a vegetarian. I used to be a vegetarian but occasionally I used to have non-veg. That day, I decided to completely quit having "non-veg".

My family was not surprised, but they enquired and I narrated the story. None could see it the way I witnessed it. Since then till few years ago, I was a vegetarian by choice. Recently, however, for the sake of sheer convenience I started having "non-veg" occasionally. My main intention was to avoid giving my reasons to people around me for being "veggie". My being veggies always made me an odd-man out and I became the topic of conversation in every get-together and party. It was difficult to explain to people something knowing that they will not relate to it. Also, what bothered me was that, my choice put a tap on their choices. Me being around, they had to plan out differently.

To make things easier, I simply started having "non-veg" one day. Also, after so many years, the impressions of that old incident had faded.

Today, when I was out with my cousin I was recollecting the event again. We went to a stall, which looked abandoned from a distance. When we reached closer, we saw a small kid there. My cousin placed the order, assuming the kid would do the job. But for me he was too small to be in that place.

The kid took the ordered and got on to work. I watched him patiently. He took out one chicken after another, curled their wings and placed them on the weigh machine. He did this till he found the one that suited the bill.

Then he placed the chicken on the table, picked up a knife, rubbed the knife against the body of the chicken to wipe it clean and in an instant, slit its throat. Then he threw it into a drum. The chicken dashed insanely against the walls of the drums. I watched the face of the kid. He had gone on to another task, meeting another customer's demand. His eyes didn't flinch, His hand didn't shake and his face showed no sign of any emotion. He was doing it just like any other job. No thoughts whatsoever crossed his mind at that moment. He was busy with the task at hand.

A while later, the struggle of the helpless chicken was over. He peeped into the drum to confirm if the chicken is dead completely. He picked it up looked at my cousin and asked if we would like big pieces or small.

He ripped the feathered skin of the chicken's body, chopped the chicken at several places, threw away the unwanted stuff and cleaned the remaining part. His hands worked like it had been trained well. He didn't even have to look at what they were doing.

In a matter of moments, I witnessed life being reduced to piece of flesh, a part of which was going to merge with mine a litter latter. I wanted to experience the same emotion I went through few years back when I was in the similar situation, but unfortunately, this time, I caught myself smiling as I witnessed the whole incident.

After these many years, if I have learnt one thing about nature, it is that the whole play is meant to happen and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. In that moment I felt connected with that chicken that was dead, the kid who slew it and my own self that would consume it. Various entities coming together to form a play just because nature intended it to be so.

I asked my cousin what would be the kid's age. My cousin said, probably 12 -13. The thirteen hit me again.

I turned to the kid who had just portrayed the darkest act of mercilessness and asked him for his name. He said it was - "Rahim". Ironically, "Rahim" means "The Merciful".

I smiled yet again. Nature was at its damndest best in this game of Life. What a game it is. I started off as a "non-veggie", went on to become a "veggie" and have recently returned to be a "non-veggie". Feels like life had come a full circle. Which also means it's probably my time to return "Home". :)

~Shunyatha

When you lay beneath me

When you lay beneath me half asleep
Gal, you seem so innocent
I could spend the world on you
If that can get me another moment

Can't tell you what you mean to me
You are the last breath of a dying man
One look at you makes me alive
You make me do everything I can

When you take me in your arms
And handle me like a child
Part of me wants to revolt
Part of me simply goes wild

I come to you for the sake of love
But it's only business from your end
You come with me every night
Just because I am able to spend

That night we spent together

I had prayed for a miracle
Didn't knew it would happen so soon
An accident on a highway
Left two lonely souls maroon

That night we spent together
It was a night to remember

First she looked for a way out
Then she realized it was meant to be
I thought my charm had worked
When she started walking to me

We spoke of love and destiny
How both were one and the same
Sometimes joy and sometimes pain
As if it were some silly game

She didn't seem to mind
As my eyes trespassed her beauty
Then my heart skipped a beat
When she let her hands explore me

Love had touched her heart
Love had got into my head
Love was the rag that wrapped
Love had become our bed

That night we spent together
It was a night to remember

I have never been the same since
My life has changed it seems
My days go searching everywhere
My nights bring her back in dreams

Then fate decided to end my ordeal
I spotted her face in the crowd
She was in the city for a day
I jumped in joy, shouted loud

She saw me across the lane
And looked away like a stranger
But that didn't break my heart
It was the guy and the kid beside her

That night we spent together
It was a night to remember

Facilitator

His words will heal you
If only you care to listen
He allows you to pray
But will never say amen
Some call him Saint, some a Sinner
He’s mere a soul facilitator
He helps you get through life!

Bare your soul to him
He will show you the way
But dare you doubt his path
And he’ll leave you astray
He’s a man without manner
He’s mere a soul facilitator
He helps you get through life!

He abandons faith and ruins hope
He shatters myth about Almighty
“Live and Let Live”, he says
Is what will bring in harmony
He doesn’t dwell on the Creator
He serves being a facilitator
He helps you get through life!

Grab your destiny when you can
Awaken, while he’s still with you
He’s the crutch nature has sent
He never returns once he bids adieu.
If you let, he can be your anchor
He’s Atman, the soul facilitator
He helps you get you through life!

Facilitator

His words will heal you
If only you care to listen
He allows you to pray
But will never say amen
Some call him Saint, some a Sinner
He’s mere a soul facilitator
He helps you get through life!

Bare your soul to him
He will show you the way
But dare you doubt his path
And he’ll leave you astray
He’s a man without manner
He’s mere a soul facilitator
He helps you get through life!

He abandons faith and ruins hope
He shatters myth about Almighty
“Live and Let Live”, he says
Is what will bring in harmony
He doesn’t dwell on the Creator
He serves being a facilitator
He helps you get through life!

Grab your destiny when you can
Awaken, while he’s still with you
He’s the crutch nature has sent
He never returns once he bids adieu.
If you let, he can be your anchor
He’s Atman, the soul facilitator
He helps you get you through life!

There goes my heart again

Have tried curtailing emotions
Even tried looking away
No matter the resolutions
My heart still goes astray
My efforts have all gone vain
There goes my heart again

Now, there’s another women
And its the same old story
An lasting dead relation
Past the days of glory
Don’t knw how much I can sustain
But there goes my heart again

My eyes have bled before
My heart still have the scars
Even my soul has gone sore
But I still trust my stars
Guess I have got used to pain
Look there goes my heart again

Am in search of heaven
To get there I can go thru hell
Doesn’t matter the let down
I’ll go wherever love seems to dwell
Wings of desire are hard to chain
There goes my heart again

There goes my heart again

Have tried curtailing emotions
Even tried looking away
No matter the resolutions
My heart still goes astray
My efforts have all gone vain
There goes my heart again

Now, there’s another women
And its the same old story
An lasting dead relation
Past the days of glory
Don’t knw how much I can sustain
But there goes my heart again

My eyes have bled before
My heart still have the scars
Even my soul has gone sore
But I still trust my stars
Guess I have got used to pain
Look there goes my heart again

Am in search of heaven
To get there I can go thru hell
Doesn’t matter the let down
I’ll go wherever love seems to dwell
Wings of desire are hard to chain
There goes my heart again

I can see through you

Dawn a new look, wear a new mask
your eyes will still betray you
You can fool the world a 100 times
but I can see through you

Love’s given me the vision
To see beyond the obvious
Yet love left me so blind
I fell in love with a callous

Someday the time will turn
Your games will come to end
You’ll be left hurt and broken
My love will be there to mend

Someday, you’ll return to me
begging me to love you
I’ll wrap you in the arms of love
though I can still see through you