Life of Change

All my life I changed a little
A little for mom, little for dad
Even a little for my bro and sis
For they too felt I was little bad

Thought that was it, but I was wrong
The change went on and on
A little for my teacher, little for my pals
I kept changing from dusk to dawn

A little for the girl of my dream
A little for the kids that she gave
A little for the people next door,
For the society that taught me to behave

I kept changing to please the “Others”
Lived for them like a slave
I would have been happy being “Me”
If only I had been a little brave

The Theory of “Feelings”

You know, every time we express our Feelings we are actually lying… at least theoretically!

Theoretically a Lie is defined as - “a statement that deviates from or perverts the truth.” This is the case every time words are used to express Feelings.

I am not saying we are all cheats because our intention is not to betray the other person. Rather we are mere victims of inability of the language to express Feelings.

Take for an example, a case when you have said to someone - “I like you!”

What exactly happens within you?
You meet someone and begin to interact with that person. Depending upon the outcome of the interaction you either feel comfortable or uncomfortable. Now the way the mind works, the Feeling of comfort or discomfort is associated with the other person and not the interaction. Mind has this tendency to think in terms of action. It doesn’t consider anything has a happening. For it there everything is an action and there is always a doer behind every action. So when you feel uncomfortable, the mind says - “This person is making me uncomfortable”. Similarly, when you feel comfortable, the mind says - “I feel comfortable with this person”. If the interaction provides pleasure in addition to comfort, you feel happy; and mind says - “This person makes me happy”.

That is what happens in Reality! It is just an incident where a particular interaction has lead to you Feeling happy! But while conveying it to the other person, you say - “I like you!” Theoretically this is an action that you claim to do, but in Reality it was an incident that happened to you!

See the difference?

This holds true for every Feeling that we try to express! What we feel, is an incident that happens to us. And what we express, is an action that we or someone else is doing!

The difference is not just that!

When you say - “I like you!” to someone, the statement doesn’t have an expiry period. An incident is relevant only for a moment, but an action can continue forever. So if suddenly some day you are acting unfriendly, it leaves the other person perplexed. This person then begins to wonder what went wrong between you two.

Also, the act of expressing your Feeling demands an infinite loop of Reaction. The person who expressed the Feeling believes in his action and is now expecting a similar action from the other person. And if the loop is broken at any point than the person who is responsible for the inaction becomes the cause of discomfort.

Eventually, the “I like you!” changes to “I hate you!”

If we run down the memory lane of the Human history, you will realize that no wise person has ever claimed to have known Love! What holds true for Love holds true for any other form of Feeling. Love is just a reference to the ultimate state of pleasure a Human can experience. When the pleasure of someone’s company crosses all boundaries, it transforms into Ecstasy and your mind tells you that you are in love with that person. But at the core, it’s just a Feeling.

Feeling in its truest form is incomprehensible by Humans! To understand a Feeling you need to conceptualize it first and that requires you to speak to yourself. Now, whether you are speaking to yourself or others, you are using language; a language that was devised by Humans to communicate with other beings. A language is a product of Human mind. It works fine when you use it to express Thought processes. Thoughts originate from the Mind. In fact it is a Thought that has led to the invention of a Language. So Language is well-equipped to convey Thoughts. But Feeling is a state of being. It doesn’t originate in the Mind. Rather your Mind tries to comprehend it logically. There’s nothing logical about a Feeling. It is a state of Being that you pass through every now and then. There’s no way a Thought, a product of Mind can help you decipher the complexity of a Feeling that resonates outside the Mind.

Conclusively, what you cannot understand, you cannot explain! The fact is there is no way to express Feelings. But if we were to stop expressing our Feelings than how can we convey it to the other person? Every attempt of yours to do so is just an error in interpretation of that which is absolutely inexpressible.

This is where I begin to wonder? Why in the first place do we want to convey our Feelings? Every Human action is influenced by a Desire to achieve a set Goal. If we are conveying our Feelings, what we hope in return is that the other person reciprocates in a similar way. It’s a part of our tendency to be social. We want to be closely connected with certain set of people, who make us feel comfortable. To keep them close to us, we try to express our Feelings. If they convey the same Feeling it is understood that the two are connected and will remain so till the situation changes between them, to be precise one of them breaks the loop of expression.

The Theory of “Concepts”

This article requires a sequel that will probably never be written. As it happens with most of my articles, the sequel too has been shelved before it could take off. Somehow, this one survived my scrutiny and resistance, and flowed out.

Let me begin with a question!

How do you authenticate a “fact”? How do you come to believe in something?

Is your belief based on your sensory perceptions? Perhaps, Yes!

Most people often say that they believe what they see with their own eyes. Now, this statement is arguable as it is. But even if we take it to be the case, then how can we justify things we see but doesn’t exist. The fact that you have seen it doesn’t confirm that it exists.

Why is it that in spite of being forewarned about mirages, your mind expects water when it sees one in a desert? What happens to you when a magician creates an illusion and you tend to believe in it for that moment at least? And how do you explain cases of hallucinations.

The Eye has a tendency to be deceived. Can it then be trusted? And Eye is supposed to be the most powerful of all our senses. If you are blindfolded than all your senses can betray you. A perfume can give out smell of a rose; a mimic artist can make you believe he is someone else; and you can touch a fish and feel it’s a jelly. None of our senses can guarantee authenticity of our belief, neither individually nor as a whole.

How then, do you come to believe in something?
In Reality, You don’t believe in the sensory perceptions, you believe in the stories that go around them. You believe in the Theories. These Theories form Concepts that you believe in.

Now, if you were to buy my concept about your belief being merely a Concept than you will definitely argue. ;)

There are lots of instances where things are as you see, or hear or smell or feel. But then these sensory elements only help to build perception; and perception is built around theories; and theories are what we get hooked to.

Whether you have seen it or not, you will believe in UFOs because as a Concept it is interesting. You will believe in Godmen and Reincarnations, in Past-Life and Karma, in Seeking and Enlightenment. All these are nothing but Concepts that has been bought and sold for ages.

Who amongst us can guarantee a reincarnation? Just because someone somewhere remembered some events that didn’t happen in the supposed current lifespan, it is assumed that the person has reincarnated. If at all that is true than how are we different than the recycled bottles. Our body primarily is constitutes of Energy and Energy by nature is Eternal. It never dies; just changes form. So it’s quite possible we are changing forms and not actually dying or being born again. But you want to believe in Reincarnation because it’s fascinating. It engages your mind that has a phobia of Inactivity.

You indulge in these fantasies because if not for these concepts your mind will be left with nothing but Emptiness and that is scary. You probably would prefer to believe in Astrology than to accept the fact that what we call “the future” is unpredictable. Your mind is paralyzed by the fear of Uncertainty. So in its bid to comfort self, it weaves a Concept. And just so that the Concept is believable you try to sell that concept to others. The more the others believe in it, the more your belief is strengthened. And your mind is relieved of the undeniable state of Existence. Since mind cannot deal with it, it chooses to escape it, and the only way mind can do this is by engaging in some or other thoughts. Concepts fuel thoughts and mind is kept busy.

But eventually, when the mind gets tired and settles down and your left in a state of thoughtlessness your begin to realize that all Concepts that you have believed since the beginning is meaningless and worthless.

That moment of thoughtlessness also rids your mind of thoughts associated with the fear of uncertainty. In the absence of fear, there is no need for the mind to escape and to indulge in fantasy. You are then left on your own to relax and enjoy your state of being as it is without any Concept attached to it!

If that ever happens to you, you will realize…
All that your mind has ever conceived is merely a Concept including the ones that you refer has God, Love and Life!

And that’s where the sequel begins. So I will stop here!